This is my journal that I wrote during my second attempt at in-patient rehab for being an alcoholic. The time period is spring of 2022. I’m copying these in order so if you want to keep the timeline intact start with the oldest and not the newest post. When I finish copying those pages I might keep posting my continued journal entries if I fell there’s a point to do so.

  • Interlude

    You know, since this is my own blog I want to say so much. I want to talk about how it’s unfair that we’re looked down apon for just wanting to end the game on our terms. It’s just… one sided. If someone put months or weeks into a will, that’s legally binding. If I…

  • What Not To Use A Plastic Bottle For.

    I so wish I had access to my phone/camera for this entry. I’ve never seen anything quite like it before. It was breakfast time so everyone was in the eating area. Suddenly I hear a wet ‘plop’ sound and someone swearing. I look over and this guy was shaking his hand like he was in…

  • Be a Little Humble, Please.

    This time through treatment I’ve only had issues, really, with one of my fellow addicts. Ironically that person is also the least humble of anyone here. He’s always got to one up everyone. If you overdosed, he overdosed harder. If you drank your friends under the table, he’s drank for more. If you’ve been in…

  • A Good Day in Treatment

    Since this is my third go in treatment for my addiction, I’ve often pondered the thought, “Is there a good day in treatment?” After today, I finally have an answer for myself. As I’m sitting on my bed, in my room, writing this I’ve been going through the events of the day and I can’t…

  • *individual exercise as group session*

    Progress Reflection in Recovery Well, I’m not sure where to start since this is an active group session and not just a journal entry. Out of all, my journaling this time around in in-patient, this one has caught me off guard and I’m just supposed to write about my reflection(s) out of the blue and…

  • Silence, Meditation and Prayer.

    In the movie theaters they say silence is golden. The same holds true here. Sometimes there are so many different conversations going on in the same room, with the TV on and someone playing on the XBox, it gets defining. Even in my room it often gets really distracting which makes meditation and prayer just…

  • Use of the Other “F” Word.

    I just need to get this out and off my chest. I might destroy this entry after I write it… Yesterday, during a break, we were all joking around and laughing and someone made a joke that if he got a boner at gay porn then that would make him a faggot. (as in a…

  • Is Choice Stronger Than Addiction?

    I have a choice in everything I do. They all carry consequences, some good, some bad and some neutral. Some examples are extreme, like letting a rat die or a person. I’d choose to save the person and if asked the question why, I’d easily answer, “I had no choice.” The reality is I did…

  • *homework*

    Who Do I WANT To Be Sober?

  • *homework*

    Who Am I Sober?