This should be an interesting entry, especially to my ex-wife if she ever ends of reading this. Early on in our friendship, before we were “officially” dating and eventually married, she quickly learned how to read me. She could read me like a book. It would seem like I wear my emotions on my sleeve. “How does this relate to addiction?” I asked myself that when I started thinking about this entry but I think it does apply. I think it will apply more to my supports than directly to me. Those around me will be able to see the signs of a [possible relapse/trigger before I hit that point.
‘Cause I know enough about myself and my addiction to understand that I have a “point of no return.” I call it my “fuck it button.” There’s almost nothing that can stop me from getting alcohol at that point.
So I have a goal when I get home to have a serious talk with my husband about my body language and pre-trigger signs. I’ll need to have a similar talk with my ex-wife and other important people in my life.
What I have to remember is getting help and listening to those who love and care about me doesn’t make me weak, it makes me stronger.