So, I made it through my eight days of detox (the initial group name before moving into residential) and am now in residential groups/classes. So much is going through my mind and body right now…
Will I succeed this time? Because I’m back again so soon, am I just a failure? The people here and my ex-wife and my husband keep telling me that it shows strength of character that I choose to try again. I try to believe them but then the doubts and fears creep in.
My first group was all about MAT (Medicated Assisted Treatment) and what alcohol does to the liver and brain. They showed me my blood test results. My liver enzymes (ALT/SLT) are four times normal. Talk about seeing my alcoholism in plain sight.
They put me on some mood stabilization, anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds along with vitamins. They also put me on folic acid pills, which they said was dangerously low. Previous doctor visits showed normal levels. I guess this is just another wake up call that you can’t do this to your body without consequences forever.
Let me just say that now I’m scared. Over the years I always felt like I had the luxury of time and could go on drinking. Well, that luxury is now over.