Jealousy has probably been around as long as life has existed on planet Earth, before modern man even. One prehistoric animal has a better hunting spot. Maybe a hunting spot easily accessed near its den but another animal wants it. Being human, I too, get jealous and compare what I have to others. House, car, toys, vacations, savings and checking account balances, etc.
As an alcoholic, however, I find myself most jealous of the non-addict. I think what it must be like to have a drink once in a while and just be happy, enjoy and stop. What it must be like to not obsess about when I can get my next drink or where the money for it can be scrounged up.
Personally, I don’t think non-addicts really understand what it’s like for people like me. The physical and mental need, absolute need, for one’s drug of choice is something others can empathize with, but not truly understand or relate with.
This being my third attempt at recovery and second time doing in-patient, my experience is that there are more addicts that want to get help than those that are only in rehab due to the courts. But that makes sense to me. When one accepts the addiction one also accepts that drugs, especially alcohol are everywhere. TV, movies, books and games, even for kids, depict alcohol consumption. It’s funny. It’s whimsical. It’s a release and emphasizes a dramatic moment. It’s holiday and celebrations. How does the alcoholic participate in the most common forms of entertainment without having the addiction staring him/herself in the face? I’m so jealous of the non-addict.