This is my journal that I wrote during my second attempt at in-patient rehab for being an alcoholic. The time period is spring of 2022. I’m copying these in order so if you want to keep the timeline intact start with the oldest and not the newest post. When I finish copying those pages I might keep posting my continued journal entries if I fell there’s a point to do so.
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*homework*
Who Am I drunk?
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Watching TV Sober.
I have found it interesting finding entertainment enjoyable without alcohol. When drinking I might not find joy in something, but it would be a decent distraction. At home I’d drink and almost anything could be on te TV and I’d be, at least, distracted. Sober and in rehab I find that the TV sucks. A…
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*homework*
What I Believe Why Too many truths and my own faith. Friends, Family and spouses. Color blindness, anger is always bad, the glass is always “half full.” Gray areas exist. The Trolly Problem for example. God knows best; past, present and future. We don’t. Duh. Without it, why be alive? If it were I’d still…
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When Being Perceived Strong Hurts
I just finished a group and I want to get this written down with it fresh in my mind. We were going over “hooks” and “mind traps.” It brought up some emotions that explained my defensive wall so I don’t get hurt. I grew up with a pretty solid family, though sometimes to a fault.…
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The Jealous Addict
Jealousy has probably been around as long as life has existed on planet Earth, before modern man even. One prehistoric animal has a better hunting spot. Maybe a hunting spot easily accessed near its den but another animal wants it. Being human, I too, get jealous and compare what I have to others. House, car,…
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How Could I have Done That To Her?
Guilt is a hard thing to live with, especially when it’s towards someone you love and care about. Living with that guilt without the crutch you know, like alcohol, is even worse. Where I wouldn’t change or trade my time with my ex-wife for anything, I do wish I didn’t lie to myself and to…
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Picking Your Battles
It will never surprise me the things that will set some people off. I was informed before coming here the first time what to expect as far as no access to your cell phone, wallet and some other things that get put into a safe. That’s also why I didn’t bring any of those things…
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Is There Hope Infront of Me?
As an addict in recovery I often ponder this question. To me the word hope means something like a wish, something possible but might not be attainable, but it’s really just a desire. I choose to accept the later definition because I do have a desire to quit drinking. One reason being for my health…
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Glorifying Addiction Actions?
I don’t think I’ll ever understand a lot of my fellow addicts’ attitudes towards their pre-rehab behaviors. For me, it seems like a lot of them glorify it – as it’s a competition. Who’s been in prison vs. jail vs. both, for how long, breaking into homes and stealing because he/she was owed money, fighting…
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Recovery High School?
I’ve never been a part of the “cool kids” club. So being a bit on the outskirts of the social groups isn’t anything new to me. There’s a lot of diversity with the current fellow addicts here in recovery. I don’t feel shunned or purposefully left out or anything like that. I’ve had some great…